My first post

Well, not sure why I am back here again, yet again I find myself with hardly any clothes to wear a ton of smaller clothes in my wardrobe and me wondering why on earth I have done this to myself yet again, and will I ever be that thin person I want to be.

I started on a new career path, im now a student nurse, something I have always wanted to be and never thought myself able to do it. It wasnt until I did an access course and realised actually Im not that thick and went on to do a law degree and got a 2:1, I now know if I put my mind to it I can do anything. I went for counselling a year back and one of the things that springs to my mind now is this saying we used to say, "if I want it I get it!" great saying and I think I should say it to myself alot, because actually its true, I do always get what I want, not usual by nasty stomping methods but just because when I put my mind to things I usually make sure I get it. This is generally material things or things outside my body, so why is it when it comes to my health, which I want so badly to be thin healthy, active, why can I not get this?
this is a question I should keep asking myself, why can I not get it, what is the reason, there must be one!

well this brings me to the point of this blog, I dont want to be fat, obese, porker, that fat girl over there, the fat one who must be thick because shes fat...I dont want to be that person any more I want to blend in, I want people to have to reallly describe me to point me out.
So here we go I want to do this so much, so watch this space because I want to fill less of it!